


The Stars Look Very Different Today

by superscavenger



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Celebrities, David Bowie - Freeform, Erin's really one too, F/F, Holtzmann's a Bowie Fan, Not Really Character Death, but there is a death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superscavenger/pseuds/superscavenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holtzmann's world falls apart for a moment when she hears the news, but Erin is there to help her up.  A look at their lives in snapshots where their favourite artist has helped them through, and the day he did that for them both at the same time. </p><p>OR</p><p>I was listening to Kristen Wiig sing Space Oddity and naturally, the headcanon pops into my head that Holtzmann is a massive David Bowie fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stars Look Very Different Today

**Author's Note:**

> TW: There is death in this, but not any characters, only documented celebrity death. A tad hurt/comfort, but ultimately fluff.
> 
> I know for some Bowie is a problematic figure, but this is simply a headcanon I have.

_Ground Control to Major Tom_

 

 

_10_

 

A nine year old Jillian sits in a long line, her father with his arm around her outside the records store.They’ve been waiting for almost six hours, but it’s Jillian’s only request on her birthday.They wait to buy a Minidisc, Sony’s newest music-playing product on a cold December night, and the little girl has only one song she wants on it; David Bowie’s Space Oddity.Like her, it’s a little strange, a tad weird, but it’s lovable and, even though she doesn’t know it, will only be truly appreciated in years to come.Yes, the minidisc is a little bit overrated, somewhat tacky and will probably be outdated within the year, but she doesn’t really care.

Another two hours later, she sits in their beaten up pickup truck, on the three hour journey back to Gainesville from Tallahassee, listening to that one song again and again and again.  It’s the only song she’ll never get sick of.

 

_9_

 

Erin Gilbert is a rather simple teenager.She’s wildly clever, don’t mistake that - but she’s not entirely used to the finer things in life. Sure, her parents could afford them, but most of the time she’s just felt as if she doesn’t really need to splurge on things or look particularly fancy.She’s okay with her pastel-coloured flannel shirts and her simple minidisc she bought with her own money for her 17th birthday.She can see the weird looks she gets from her peers, the weirdo without a walkman who used to see ghosts in her head.She’s so, so done with even listening to any of them, and Abby isn’t always around to remind her to remember that.So, she plugs herself into the minidisc and picks out a random one from her bag, not looking at the title of the disc and simply popping it into the device, browsing places in the field to find a secluded spot to eat her lunch.

When those first guitar chords seep through the headphones into her ear, she smiles as she sits on the dry patch of grass, lying down for a moment and breathing in the fresh air.  She could fall asleep to this song.

 

_8_

 

She’s sobbing into her pillow, not able to control the sheer flow of tears down her distraught face.They all say losing a parent at a young age is tough, but there’s tough and then there’s losing the only man you ever really think you’ll trust and knowing what happens next. They’ll put her in care, ship her off to different foster families.They’ll all hate her, Jillian knows it; she’s too strange for a family to accept.She wants to take things apart, build machinery, use things in the house that they’ll probably be scandalised are even in a teenager’s reckless hands.She gives herself a little bit of time to process her tears, letting them slowly subside and go down into a blubber.The picture is underneath her pillow, it has been for some time - it’s a picture of her father dancing to Space Oddity in their small living room a couple of years before, one she’d taken with a polaroid that she’d found on the street and rebuilt.

He looked so genuinely happy, and that’s how she’d always remember him - partly thanks to the music of Bowie.  She smiles at the thought as she grazes her fingers over the photo, and then rises from her mattress, almost feeling just a tiny bit ready for what’s coming.

 

_7_

 

She can hardly believe she’s actually managed it - she’s graduating high school and she’s going to Princeton.It should be the happiest day of her life.But she’s not done just yet.Erin skulks away from the growing crowds, averting the searching eyes of her eager parents to be able to just take a deep breath without everybody taking it all away from her.Then, she sees that one patch of grass.The one she sat at every day for two years, ever since that first time she’d lay down with Space Oddity humming through her ears, watching the clouds roll by on her lunch break.She walks over, taking each step firmly but slowly as she goes, and eventually reaches the patch of grass. 

She looks around her to check nobody’s watching her - something she’ll do until she meets a few certain females in years to come - and carefully situates herself in the middle of the dry patch, taking her graduation cap off as she lies down.  She watches the clouds for a few seconds, before closing her eyes and letting the song roll through her head once more.

 

_6_

 

‘Jillian, can you turn that shit off?’

‘Not a chance, buttercup.  If you don’t wanna listen to it, it’s up to you.’  The silent request for her current bed companion to leave isn’t entirely subtle, but it isn’t that rude, either.  She has shared her pot with her after all, along with two earth-shattering orgasms.  At 19 years old, in her final year of her undergrad program at MIT, she’s infamously known for her wild experiments in the lab and her penchant for beautiful women.  College gave her the weapon of being a chick magnet, and she uses it to her full potential.  As thoughts swirl in amazing patterns and spirals in her head, the pot clouding her mind somewhat, she clicks on the battered iPod and plugs it into the sub-par speakers, turning the volume up as the girl dresses with a sour look on her face.

As the door shuts behind her, the notes feel like home on Jillian’s tongue.  ‘Ground Control to Major Tom…’

 

 

_Commencing Countdown, Engines On_

 

 

_5_

 

She’s been listening outside for about half an hour.She tries to tell herself it’s not creepy, standing with her ear pressed up against the door of a college recording studio, but…oh well.She doesn’t exactly have the courage to go in, so when the guy inside playing David Bowie covers on his beaten up guitar is suddenly opening the door right in her face, it’s more than a little awkward.

‘Can I…help you there, ma’am?’ A thick Scottish accent laces the air, and Erin’s taken aback by the words.

‘Oh, ma’am, okay, um… I just… I’m really sorry, I just heard you playing David Bowie, I love his music, so…and I was just thinking I really need to learn, guitar, I’m babbling I’m so sorry…’

‘That’s quite alright ma’am.’  He’s in his late 20s, probably a doctorate student in music of some kind. He’s wearing a leather jacket with a badge on it that says Ziggy Stardust, and he’s attractive, but not really Erin’s type.  To be fair, she doesn’t really know she has a type yet; she just knows that this guy isn’t it.  And then, to top off this whole rather opportune situation, he says cheerfully: ‘I could teach you if you want.  You could pay me a wee bit, if that’s alright, but a lot less than most people round here would ask for, and it gives me some teaching experience too.  If you’d like?’

Erin doesn’t think she’s smiled this big since before she saw Mrs Barnard at the edge of her bed.

 

_4_

 

She’s 26 and rushing through the streets of London, trying to decipher where the lecture theatre is.She’s visiting to see a lecture on the questionable reality of the paranormal; she may be a scientist, but even though it’s such a wacky idea, the paranormal interests her a great deal. Turning into a quieter side street she looks down at her map again, and doesn’t realise she’s barrelling head first into a thin, wiry man before it’s too late. 

‘I’m so sorry, I need to look where I’m -‘

Her heart stops.  Her brain short circuits.  David Bowie is standing in front of her, and she just rammed straight into him in the middle of a London street.  He’s wearing a sharp, blue suit with a tie, shirt unbuttoned at the neck, and he has a pair of yellow tinted glasses hanging off his suit’s front pocket.

‘No worries love, we all get lost in our own worlds sometimes don’t we?’  Coming from Bowie, that makes more sense than from anybody else, _ever_ , Jillian thinks. 

He smiles widely, his eyes crinkling as he does so, but not for long as he zones in on what’s tucked under Jillian’s arm.

‘Is that a Viz?’

‘Um…ye…yeah, it’s a first edition.  I’ve read it like a hundred times over, I got it forever ago, found it on the street, and I just… read it…sometimes, oh my god, sorry, my hero is standing in front of me and I can’t stop talking.’

His smile returns, and he chuckles a little bit.  Then, in that moment of meeting her idol, she loses all sense of sensibility for a moment: ‘you can have it if you like…I um…as I said, I’ve read it a bunch, and it’s not like I paid for it…’

‘I couldn’t possibly, those things are wonderful, and they’re worth a pretty penny too,’ he says, forehead creasing a little bit in thought.  A lightbulb goes off in Jillian’s head.

‘I’ll do you a trade.  The Viz for the glasses.’

He thinks for a moment, then grins and simply retrieves the glasses from his suit pocket, holding them out to Jillian.  She smiles like a little girl at Christmas as she untucks the comic from underneath her arm, handing it to _David fucking Bowie_ and taking the glasses from his other hand.  She bucks up the courage to ask for a picture and she puts the glasses on for it; they feel almost at home on her face.  A few minutes later, when he’s gone on his way and Jillian knows she’s ten minutes late to the lecture, she looks down at the emerging polaroid photo with tears of joy seeping from her eyes, not remembering she still has the glasses on.  She guesses that’s just how well they fit.

She hardly takes them off from then on.

 

_3_

 

She’s feeling particularly miserable about herself today.She’s had a tough day at work; one student had come in trying to get her grade changed, despite the fact she’d only completed half her paper.Erin drops her bag unceremoniously on the floor, much unlike her usual tidy self, and stalks to the kitchen to see what’s in the fridge.She pulls out a Budweiser, not really caring for food right at this moment, and she’s about to go to the TV when she spots it in the corner of the room.

Her Harptone six string is sitting there, unused almost since college, and something about today just makes her think that maybe…maybe today she could play it.  See how it goes.

She takes her jacket off, and the tiny bow tie that came with the shirt before unbuttoning it a couple of buttons, thankful for the air on her neck as she carefully extracts the guitar from the stand. 

Sitting on the sofa, Erin strums the strings open a few times, feeling the frets over her fingers before pressing down with her other hand to let out some chords.  They ache as they press into the strings, but she doesn’t care.  She begins to strum, and she finds herself playing Space Oddity as she sits there. 

Erin can’t find it in herself to sing along just yet.  There’ll be a time and a place for that.

 

 

_Check Ignition And May God’s Love Be With You_

 

 

_2_

 

It’s September when Erin Gilbert walks into her and Abby’s office, a frown etched into beautiful face and a rigidness to her body Jillian can only describe as stressful to look at. 

She introduces herself casually, with a dash of flirting, just to get the cogs whirring in Erin’s mind.  She plays the little trick with the tapes, and it makes she and Abby laugh, but there’s something about the annoyed and stressed look on Erin’s face which makes her feel just that tiny bit guilty. 

When they’re all in the mansion and everything is just a little too tense for her liking, she brings it down a notch with her Pringles and her comments on Erin’s bow tie.  They’re all in absolute marvel when they see a real ghost, in the flesh… or ectoplasm, and even when Erin is soaked through to the bone with slime she’s still so happy and for some little reason, it makes Jillian’s heart sing, even more so when she and Abby begin rekindling their friendship.

Although she first dances to DeBarge to try and get Erin’s attention, Erin first dances properly with her to Bowie, Let’s Dance pumping through the beaten up speakers Jillian’s been carrying around with her since she was smoking pot and bringing girls home in MIT.  They giggle uncontrollably, both of them in a post-bust euphoria and loving life in that moment.  She notices Bowie is on the speakers more than most artists she hears in Jillian’s music library.

 

_1_

 

‘Tributes are flooding in today after it is confirmed that David Bowie, legendary musician and songwriter has died aged 69, losing his battle with liver cancer.His spokesman has issued a statement outside his home this morning…’

‘Man, that’s just so sad.  He was so talented, dude could sing like no-one else,’ Patty comments, biting into her sandwich while Abby leans over the desk and continues to watch the news report. 

‘I know, you just never think it’s gonna happen and when it does it blows your mind…like…celebrities are like us, they don’t just live on forever,’ Abby says, a grimace spreading across her face before going back to her laptop to type up figures for the Mayor’s office.

Erin walks in, zoning in on the television.

‘What’s happening, guys?’

‘Oh, David Bowie died, liver cancer apparently.  Such a shame,’ Abby recounts, not looking away from her computer screen. 

Erin can’t really form words, but her mouth ends up in an O shape, just slowly taking in the news.

Seconds later, Holtzmann walks in, her paint splattered overalls only strapped up on one side so she’s showing one side of her stomach, a smile on her face as she’s about to greet her fellow Ghostbusters.

Then she sees the television, and her smile drops from her face instantly.

Walking slowly towards the TV, she takes her glasses away from her eyes, letting them dangle from one ear as she takes in the news.  She can hardly believe this is happening.

She’d never imagined it, but now that day is here and she doesn’t know what to think. 

‘You want lunch Holtzy?’

She’s snapped out of her reverie by Patty, who’s holding up a sandwich that’s obviously been procured for her at the Deli, her favourite too.  Pastrami, provolone cheese and pickles with some lettuce. 

Erin watches her closely, careful not to let Jillian see her eyes on her, before watching her become flustered like she’d never really seen her.

‘Um…um well, I’m, I’m good for now thanks…P, Patty, I’ll be working on the roof today if anybody needs me,’ she says, leaving the room quickly.

She doesn’t surface at all that day.

 

 

_Liftoff._

 

 

She’s been looking at the night sky for about four hours.She’s a little hungry now, but she wants to be alone a little while longer, letting the world go by and listening to Bowie play out Major Tom and Ziggy Stardust a few more times before facing her fellow Ghostbusters.Thankfully, no busting had been required today, so the excuse she’d made that was a blatant lie wouldn’t need explaining.

She hasn’t let herself cry yet, but she can tell it’s not going to be long before she can’t hold it in anymore.  She feels them getting closer every time she twirls the photo of her and Bowie in London, her minidisc that had sat unused for years sitting in her lap, the photo of her father dancing face up on top of it.

Jillian can hardly believe it.  This man, this man she miraculously met once and adored for almost her entire life has gone; he’s dead; that’s it.  It’s all so abrupt and final, and it makes her wonder why she doesn’t fear death herself.  Just the death of those she loves; The Ghostbusters, her sister, Erin.

She knows exactly why Erin’s separate, but she chooses to let that lie in itself for the moment, going back to focusing on the notes of Space Oddity.

It’s only when she feels a light tap on the shoulder that she turns around to see Erin standing there, an old Harptone guitar in her hand, a Chinese takeout box in the other and a questioning look on her face.

‘You’ve been up here almost 12 hours, Holtz.  And I knew you weren’t working, you didn’t take anything up with you.’  The engineer takes her glasses off, folding them neatly and latching them onto the top of her overalls.

‘I um…today was a day off for me, it’s not like I take them very often,’ Jillian tries, knowing full well days off are never something on her to-do list.

‘I know you don’t.  I keep saying you should,’ Erin quips, silently asking Jillian with her eyes if she can take the other seat.  They’re beach chairs, that Abby had found outside on the street and set up by their balcony view. 

Erin sits silently for a moment, leaning back and slouching in the chair so she can view the stars like Holtzmann can, looking up and reminiscing about all those times she looked at the blue sky from below in high school.  ‘You know,’ she begins, hoping she might able to reach Jillian, ‘there was this one time I saw a photo, a few years ago now…of David Bowie at a convention in London, he was in this blue suit and he had these yellow tinted glasses on his jacket pocket.  I didn’t think about it for years and years, but then I met you and I saw yours.  They look just like them.’

Jillian chuckles a little bit, the thickness seeping through in her voice, before she looks up at Erin with glassy eyes.  ‘That’s because they’re his.’

Erin’s eyebrows raise in surprise, and she’s almost jealous of her fellow Ghostbuster.  She smiles with closed lips, seeing Holtzmann’s eye letting a tear fall.

‘I ran straight into him when I was in London, and I traded him a Viz magazine for his glasses because it was a first edition comic…I couldn’t really believe it happened, but goddammit it did, and I…’ she peters out, more tears falling at a steadier stream; she covers her eyes with her hand, her shoulders shaking a little. 

‘I’ve listened to him my whole life.  Me and my Dad, we used to dance around together like weirdos to his music, and when he was gone, I used to listen to it to space out and give myself time away from…you know, the world, and he’s just been a constant no friend or relative has ever been before, maybe apart from you guys, and I just…I don’t know what to feel,’ she babbles thickly.  The other Ghostbuster has never seen her like this before. 

Erin’s face falls, and she’s devastated for Jillian.  She gets up a moment, setting the guitar down and leaning over for a moment to kiss Jillian’s head, not really knowing what reaction she may get.

Then, she sits back down as Jillian sniffles, and picks up her guitar.

She guess she's found the right time and place now.

The first few chords strum just like they used to, the notes feeling like home.  Jillian’s head snaps up, instantly recognising the song.  She sniffs loudly, and doesn’t take her eyes off Erin as she looks up at the sky for a moment and then back down to Jill.

‘Ground Control to Major Tom, Ground Control to Major Tom,’ she begins, and she sees a few more tears fall from Jillian’s eyes and can’t help but let a few go herself.

'Take your protein pills and put your helmet on…’

‘Ground Control to Major Tom,’ Erin continues, and Jillian’s mouthing the words along with, both of them crying and laughing at the situation and adoring this moment together, sharing in something both loved.

‘Commencing countdown engines on, check ignition and may God’s love be with you…’  she leaves a little bit of a pause before continuing with the chorus, their tears subsiding as they smile and begin to belt it at the top of their voices.

‘This is Ground Control to Major Tom, you’ve really made the grade, and the papers want to know whose shirts you wear, now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare…’

Erin stops singing and lets Jillian do her own part, knowing that this will probably help just a little bit.  If that’s all she can do, she’ll do it.

‘This is Major Tom to Ground Control, I’m stepping through the door, and I’m floating in the most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today…’ at that one, they both stare up at the stars before looking back at each other, smiling and continuing to belt out the song.  Erin harmonises because she can.

‘For here am I sitting in a tin can, far above the world…’

They carry on until the song finishes, Erin strumming the last few chords as they finish it off.

‘Planet Earth is blue, and there’s nothing I can do,’ they sing, Erin taking them out with a finishing riff.

Jillian’s eyes leak one more time, but she doesn’t feel as if she’s betrayed herself as she usually would.

Erin puts her guitar down carefully, and stands before walking the few steps to Jillian’s chair and daintily sitting on her lap.  The other woman instantly wraps her arms around her, taking in her scent and rubbing her hand along Erin’s back as she wraps her arms around Jillian’s neck. 

She takes the mini disc and the photos and puts them down on top of the guitar, knowing they’re safe on Erin’s now most prized possession, and looks up at the other woman with loving eyes.

‘Thank you,’ is all she can manage. 

Erin’s only answer is a soft kiss on Jillian’s lips, the first of many she knows they’ll share.  It doesn’t deepen because it doesn’t need to.  They part and look at each other for a moment. 

‘I used to lie in the school field most days, and I’d listen to David Bowie from a minidisc just like that.’

‘Really?’

‘Mhmm.  People thought I was a weirdo, but it was one of the few times it didn’t bother me at all.  He was my escape.’

‘And mine.’

They share another short kiss, nothing but a kindling fire of love between them, before Jillian rests her head on Erin’s shoulder and Erin rests her cheek on Jillian’s head, her blonde hair soft on Erin's face.  They both look up to the stars again, and their fellow Ghostbusters find them a couple of hours later, fast asleep together on the same chair.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on the Tumblr @ superscavenger lads


End file.
